Start Before You're Ready
I have carried a camera with me everywhere from disposables, to film, to polaroids, and now a DSLR. Along the way annoying each family member with requests to pull over so I could take a photo, asking them to take photos of me, or abruptly pointing the camera in their direction without notice.
After years of procrastination, self-doubt, and fear I've finally decided to pursue my love for photography. Previously, I shut down the idea abruptly or ignored the consistent calling in my heart. Why? I've never gone to photography school, I don't have the best equipment, I wasn't good enough. I had this idea that I needed to educated, hired, or perfect before I could even start. Isn't that disheartening?
Fear reared its head in my life in many forms: perfectionism, procrastination, or over-preparedness. While reading Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert, (as part of our Lionheart Mamas Book Club, shameless plug), it occurred to me that I'm worthy of a creative life. If I don't call it what it is and believe in myself, why would anyone else?
“I think perfectionism is just fear in fancy shoes and a mink coat, pretending to be elegant when actually it’s just terrifying. Because underneath that shiny veneer, perfectionism is nothing more that a deep existential angst the says, again and again, ‘I am not good enough and I will never be good enough.”
— ELIZABETH GILBERT
Well, here I am, at thirty, taking the risk and giving myself permission to create regardless of being "good at it", regardless of having the best equipment, or if I've taken all the classes. Now that I don't have to be good, I can be free. Inspired to step wholeheartedly into my creative life and lean into my fear and faith in the universe.
Wish me luck!